Lyd Travels

marriage

2010-10-08T19:29:00.001+02:00

i did it. i'm married.

engaged

2010-05-28T07:41:00.000+02:00

I'm getting married!

i wish i could

2009-05-06T11:23:00.003+02:00

i want to hug my big sister

i want to play with aidan

i want to laugh at sarah beth

i want to drink coffee with josh and craft with kelly

i want my mom to scratch my back

i want my dad to teach us something bc he loves it

i want to hear vernon laugh at something ridiculous i or sarah-bizzle does

i want to watch twigs clean her room and then watch some crappy (but amazing) movie with b

i want to kiss my boyfriend

i want to drop by the house where jenna and kate and jenn are and find random people i know and lots of new faces that i hug because i can

i want to have a clove and coffee with alecia

i want to have dinner and discussions and arguments with john and shawn and then play mario kart

i want to hear blanco play music

i want to lay out with the quin and then play fing-o

i want to hug jess stephens

i want to sit on karen morgan's desk

i want to laugh at liz's awkwardness before we go dance the night away

i want to watch the soup and drink wine with jans and sarah b and end up dreaming about something big

i want to sit at jess grose's house after the farmer's market and talk the day away

i want to go to midnight mass with c-bell and hug her

i want to dance with roby - lawn mower-style

i want to shake my head at the jew and hear his passion for something and look at wedding stuff hester has picked out

i want to meet the new addition to the horton family and the soto family

i want to visit and laugh to the point of tears with court and jules and kate

i want to see caroline and misha's new home and life

i want to spend the night with josh and ashole

i want to rub mist's prego belly and giggle

i want to meet ben's family and be friends with his friends

i want to go to the beach and to a gator game

there are lots of things i want and lots of people i miss terribly. being at the rescue just made me frustrated that i don't speak the language well enough to go talk to the groups of people writing letters. i hated not being able to help them write and think and ask them why they were there and what they would do with their new knowledge. how would this movement carry on for them personally? i wanted to help tyna organize it and take some of the burden off of her. i couldn't. bean and i both hated the feeling. that event combined with the fact that i had real-life ben for 10 days culminated into a booming and unsatisfied desire of home. i miss all of it. and i miss it a lot. there hasn't been many times when i have missed it this intensely. but the past couple of weeks, i feel bored, lonely, sad, weak. i'm trying to embrace the emotion a little - because at least it means i feel.

but i'm also pissed.

because in approximately 3 months, i won't be able to miss those things - i will be back in america and surrounded by all of them. and then i will miss the streets of ostrava, the vibrant colors of spring, the kids talking on trams "pristi zastavka, marianske namesti", my students, my community here, being able to tune out 80% of the world, because simply, i don't understand what people are saying. i will miss .5 liter radegast and chocolate, i will miss laura's humor and jonna's ridiculousness. i will miss ashley's kindness and luke's gentleness. i will miss nathan and lucie's constant desire to help us and hospitality. i will miss adam's dreams and zuzka's smile. i will miss monday catch-up convos with eva and i will miss monday's pub class to an extreme degree. i will miss english club and wednesdays with petra. i will miss trains and trams. i will miss prague. i will miss the weird family which is ESI. i will miss the amazing dinners i share each monday with the girls. i will miss all the conversations and crappy movies bean and i have enjoyed. i will miss lots and lots and lots.

lots of things i miss about america will never again be reality - because people and situations change, develop, grow apart, move away. lots of my life here will never again happen - because i live in ostrava, czech republic.

is life really just a constant cycle of contentment and discontenment, desire, dream, reality, disappointment and joy. i guess. but - if you are in america right now - know that i miss you deeeeeeply. and i will be back soon and plan on fulfilling all of the above dreams.

invisible children and missing people

2009-05-06T10:29:00.004+02:00

so... once upon a time in my life, i had learned how to become virtually emotionless. deciding that this was not the path i wanted my soul to take, i made decisions to become more human again - allow emotions, allow my heart to beat for passions i had lost, etc - invisible children, the rough cut, was the first thing i saw post-decision and the first time i realized i still had a heart for injustice - that was in 2006.

after a couple of months in ostrava, i noticed that there didn't seem to be many "causes" people could attach to - granted - i know a very small portion of the population and know even less of

the language, so i really have a biased judgment of the culture - but, it felt very contrasted to orlando which was constantly flooded by cause after cause, injustices piled upon one another. orlando is goodwill for causes, of sorts - it's cool while it's trendy and some people will keep that plaid shirt forever, others will wear the shirt for a while, then give it to thrift and move on to the next trendy injustice -- it's then up to you to sort through the racks and piles of causes and organizations, worn and left behind by others, try them on, see which one suits you, and leave with a greater purpose. i, myself have tried on caribbean poverty, human trafficking in thailand, feeding the homeless and more. i still don't know which i want to pursue. i think it's ok to take your time deciding. but - you shouldn't try on forever. the thing is, the more injustices you become aware of, the more apathetic you can become. there are just too many, there is just too little you can do, there isn't enough time or money, etc. OR you can embrace it - embrace one or 2 that make your heart go boom, boom, pow and then run with it - which is what invisible children is - an organization where 3 young men saw an injustice far bigger than themselves and far beyond their reach and they walked out with it on - and made and organization that is beautiful. i wanted to help bring that organization here. i wanted ostrava to have the chance to try on another cause and see if it fits. but - i am lazy and don't speak czech and didn't try too hard. luckily for me, tyna wanted to bring it here as well. her and her schoolmates decided this would be their project for a class - to put on a screening event. tyna heard i am a big fan of IC and asked if i wan

ted to help - yes, of course.

my help included brainstorming with her, deciding to do the Rescue in our city and speaking for .2 at the events with a translator. she, the rockstar that she is, along with her friends pulled off several screenings over the course of 3 weeks or so - in high schools and cafes and began to spread the word about this injustice, that in my opinion, ostrava is hungry for.

so the Rescue was on April 25 -- including a walk through the City Center and down streets to the Town Hall. We spent the evening writing letters to politicians,

creating art, hanging out, hoping that ostrav-ites would wake up to the injustice happening in the world around them. about 80 people came out - which was beyond incredible. and about 10 of us stayed til dawn.

so - here's some pics (taken by the one and only gina dimarcantonio)

... and that leads me to the next blog...

well it's been a while

2009-05-02T18:39:00.004+02:00

march. and april. march was spent

---- visiting Prague twice - once with Bean and Mr. and Mrs. D and once with Bean for her birthday and then for the boys birthday that live there. Both those Prague experiences were way fun, because we got to stay actually in town, walking distance from all the best parts.

---- cursing out the cold

---- anticipating easter break which was the next big travel week for me and the week ben phillips would come. ben is one of the newest additions in sass world and one of the greatest causes of joy.

so march ended. april came and brought with it blooming trees and gardens, green fields, better attitudes and the city of ostrava came to life. i had no idea so many people lived here :) beer gardens, parks, sandboxes and the city center are all bustling with new faces that had previously been locked up in hibernation.

easter came and brought my boyfriend. i showed him the city beautiful - praha, vien - the city of art and class and then we got to do budapest - the city of life. i feel like most cities i've been able to pinpoint certain things to it - budapest was different... it just felt alive, but no word or stereotype or classification suits it. maybe it's because it's spring or maybe it's because it's budapest. i'm not really sure. but the pubs and cafes and restaurants were good. the city was better seen on a bike. parliament and the palace were architecturally magnificent, as always. seeing friends from ESI was fantastic. the baths were large and fun. the night buses were lame. proving that ben was real was exciting. we got to go on our first real date. we got to hold hands. we got to learn how to push each other's buttons. you know - all the standard relationship things.

after that trip - ben came back with me here and got to see home-life - classes, students, friends, ostrava, etc. then back to prague so we could hang with his lifelong friend john and his wife and their friend. then he left. pics from all those shenanigans are above...

saalbach, austria

2009-03-15T14:40:00.003+01:00

skiing was awesome. when telling others that you are going skiing, the first question is always "have you skied before?" of coooourse - you know - a whole 4 times in my 23 years of existence. and the last time i went was about 4 years ago, for one day, and snowboarding - not skiing.

enter the sass going to saalbach w/ 9 others - 3 of which were my students, 6 of which were new friends. wednesday started w/ an 8am meeting at the bus stop, waiting for an hour for the bus, riding on the bus for a good 11 hours and then arrival at a nice little mountain hotel/ cabin/ type place. 7am wake-up and head to the slopes to ski. yipes!!!

i started the day in skis as tall as me - which means i started the day tumbling down the first run. there was no skiing and no restraint of the things that kept yelping from my mouth. in between giggles and pep-talks, i eventually made it down the mountain and we all decided that long skis were the worst idea ever for me, so at lunch i was able to switch to short skis. pheeew. the people i went with could not have been kinder, more gracious, more hospitable, etc. spalek and helena stayed w/ me for the better portion of the day bc spalek wanted to teach me to ski. which was amazing bc he speaks a total of 10 english words :) so helena would translate if needed - but mainly the communication was "push left, push right. good? yeah? let's go"

by the third day, i was a freakin champ - conquering a couple red slopes and all. my legs were shaking like it was no ones business - not out of fear - but out of sheer exhaustion. day 2 we skiied something like 40 km. that is a lot. even for a sass. but it was amazing. the first day we had beyond perfect weather, the 2nd day it was well below zero, w/ 20-50 km/hr winds and snow snow snow. to give the floridians an analogy - the first day was like wakeboarding on a beautiful, cloudless, sunny day in florida - where the lake is glass. day 2 - a hurricane is brewing and you decide it is way too choppy to go. but when you have paid for your ski day and you only have a few days to soak it in, you ski anyways - on the overly choppy surface, in the depths of the snow. fun fun fun. day 3 was cloudy - not as bad as 2, but nowhere near the weather of day 1 either. but still - delightful for sure.

most everyone i was w/ could speak english well and they would humor me about 30-40% of the time w/ english which was super nice. nights we would collapse into dinner, feel a little revived, hang out in the room and laugh and then sleep soundly until the next day of skiing. saturday we skiied and then headed back on the bus - arriving in ostrava at about 330am. it was absolutely fantastic. i loved being able to experience the alps and was so so glad i got to spend more time w/ my students and their friends. so kind. so amazing.

for the 2 that love me and actually read this

2009-03-05T18:23:00.007+01:00

february. where do i start with february. i don't even remember it. laura's birthday weekend was held at our flat. (that was jan though still). it consisted of turning our living room into a sleeping pad. celebrating the kid in her and the adult. who doesn't love a good weekend long slumber party w/ your closest compadres?

sarah got to come play from cheb. that was a nice weekend. good coffee. good talks.

spring break. was. eventful.

i was supposed to travel w/ bazyn to belgium and meet up w/ bean and brittany for one night in bruges. laura caught the plague of death so she couldn't accompany me. that sent me into a terro

r of sorts. i tend to be one of your more independent individuals - but i hate being alone. haaate it. there is a difference between alone and independent. after complaining to bean about it and working through all my options, i decided not to change any flight, and to brave belgium alone.

i got to go to a farmer's market and then a flea market where vintage dresses were a must-purchase, walked around in several loops that day, tried the necessary foods - waffles and french fries, drank the necessary beverage - beer - belgian and german beer are the best. but shhhhh - don't tell the cz that i said that. :) got handed some free chocolates "i want that 1..." "just 1?" "yes" "oh - just take it." THANK YOU VERY MUCH I WILL. thank you nice belgian chocolate shop worker :)

bruges is really cute - full of canals and side streets and the best chocolate. i had friends there for 18 hours which was way better.

traveling alone is fine - but the whole time i was alone - i just kept thinking about how much better it is when you share it with someone. which is how most experiences are. your money, your time, your thoughts, your dreams, your expectations - all better when shared w/ someone. i am truly thankful for all the wonderful people in my life i have around to share my life with. after a night in bruges, i had to spend a good 12 hours getting from bruges to brussells to prague to ostrava, only to wake up the next day at 7am to go skiing in austria. ... ... ... .................

...

delicate balance

2009-01-28T12:09:00.002+01:00

we had a retreat last weekend w/ all the ESI czech-ers. lots of talk about future plans for people. decision time is upon us... future is a weird concept. somedays i am overly concerned and anxious about what is to come. somedays i could careless. but i know this - i still love using my czech kc - i still love getting yelled at in billa and breaking into a sweat bc of it. i still love our flat w/ a balcony that makes you want to pray for this city. i still love laughing w/ my team. i still love my friends at home and am glad i haven't lost people this year in the distance. i don't mind hang-drying my clothes bc it makes our living room smell like a cloud of fabric softener. layer upon layer upon layer of clothes is funny and stupid annoying. i love the simplicity roots that i am planting in my soul as a result of my life here. i love public transportation. i am very grateful to be living here. it is an actual dream come true. nazdravi to 5 and a half more months.

swing of things

2009-01-16T16:04:00.002+01:00

what does the swing of things even mean. since when do we compare life to being on a swing?

well. mom and dad left. and this past week teaching was like starting in august. planning planning planning planning. and then some planning. snow has been fun. to be posted is hopefully a full video explaining the fun which was had whilst sledding. a treat for sure. snow has also been ridiculous when every 10 seconds you let out a small yelp and wonder if you are about to eat it in the snow in front of a ton of people. snow is also cold and wet. but when it flutters down it's like someone forgot to put the force of the skies behind it and was like - let's just frost everything today. let's make all the dead brown and black have white on it.

so school. snow. slippers. still laughing at bean and with her. i like lemon water w/ bubbles. bc bubbles burn so good. i wish our shower came above my head. i'm reading out of the silent planet and pagan christianity and trying to grow my little mind. i rearranged my room again before christmas. a.d.d.

that's all for now. a novel of a day

phew! on to praha and dresden

2009-01-16T13:04:00.006+01:00

wow. vienna was long. i'll try to contain myself a little more. now no one will read it. haha.

i showed mom and dad around

prague. the city and it's charm haven't gotten old yet. this was my third time there.

mom and

dad's favorite stories from the trip include the 2 times i got them lost - one time, we just went out of the way for like half an hour. the other time. we got on a tram to nowheresville. literally. it was the 18 that

we got on. we all saw it. and the 8 didn't come to that tram stop. but it did on this night when i was you know, reassuring mom and dad that their little girl was safe and sound on her own in the big scary continent across the ocean. so a 30 minute ride to nowheresville, a frantic call to frank and then gina, broken czech i couldn't understand and 30 minute wait later, we were back on the tram headed the exact path we had just come - just parallel - down to the proper tram and another 30 minute ride home. WHAT?! trams in prague are retarded. and it was not my fault. i swear. it was funny though.

new years eve we toured the city more, enjoyed a starbucks w/ bean and cat.

mom and dad went off to find a hotel for the next week and bean and i went to the flat, showered and headed back out into the tundra which is the czech (did i mention this vacat

ion was the coldest i have ever been in my life? there were times i had on 2 scarves. there were times i wanted to take the wind and slap it and tell it to knock it off. there were times i whimpered bc it was so cold. i would bury myself in layers and puff and scarves and hats and still be hating my life.) to try to find somewhere to dance - shocker - lyd and bean dance? neh. so we found somewhere. with a long line. but didn't want to miss the fireworks, so after a 30 minute line, we hopped the fence

and rushed onto charles bridge - aka - mosh pit. and people were humming the white stripes - 7 nation army - yeah, we didn't get it either. and we moshed. bc the people move like a current and you just go with the flow. and giggle. at midnight i got hugs and kisses on the cheek from strangers. and saw fireworks. on the charles bridge. in prague. and ran into cat again. so we took pictures and giggled some more bc it was 2009. and were going to dance - but it was stupid expensive so we started to walk around - you know - bc everyone was out and so excited about it being the new year and all - but the cold was eating gina's feet off, so we darted in the fir

st cafe we found, had a beer, then went home. found frank, aaron and britt there and hung out for a bit and slept.

next day - dresden -

much more baroque than gothic. pretty awesome. saw, ya know, more good architecture. had coffee and pastries w/ mom and dad. saw a chinese art exhibit comparing european kingdoms in the 1700s to the chinese empire. headed to herrnhut. i'm not even going to blog about the catastrophe

which was getting to herrnhut. bc it really wasn't a catastrophe - moreso just my irresponsibility of leaving my phone charger in prague and not being clear enough w/ lizzy burkhard about our plans. but we got there safe and sound. mom loves that story though. and loves to point out that i HATE asking questions and looking like a tourist. it's all the dang stigmas attached to stupid loud americankas that i steer as far away from as i can. i'll ask questions if so necessary, but i hate it and would rather be lost and in circles for a bit then run up to people like mom "ENGLISH?" she drawls out in her cute sou

thern accent that i tried to put behind me several years ago "ENGLISH? WE ARE AMERICAN - WE KNOW NOTHING - ENGLISH?" i will give her props though - we got more accomplished i'm sure with her being like that and arrived at destinations in germa

ny. it would have taken a lot longer w/ me and my pride in the way.

herrnhut is adorable and we had really yummy pizza. you know the shepherds and our pizza. and we walked around and dad got his fill of all the zinzendorf things - the guy that started a massive movement of prayer and a revolution of sorts. i got my fill of lizzy burkhard. and got to see raeann and ellis. all delightful. and we talked more about thailand since raeann and i had both been and we kind of compared experiences a little bit and that was awesome. bc i hadn't talked about it in a long time. and i miss talking about it. bc talking about it stirs things in my heart that can get buried in the day to day jargon of life. thailand was super impactful and i hope i never never forget the things i learned and experienced there. so i stayed w/ lizzy that night - parents were at the ywam place and the next day we drove through candyland headed back toward ostrava.

it had been snowing for a couple of days and it had snowed an immense amount in the part of germany and czech that we were going through. like the forest had been dipped into white icing and was set against a cotton candy sky. and then there were the trees for those who don't have such a sweet-tooth - the ones dusted on top with powdered sugar. it was mucho mucho bonita. i didn't even read. 2 hours of staring out of the window, smiling, at how creative creation actually is. if you don't see God in the mountains and forests, then my friend, something is so wrong w/ you.

back to prague then on a train to ostrava. showed mom and dad around town. started teaching again. they left wed. it was delightful for them to see and experience my world. and to travel together. they travel a lot. but i hope these travels were special and all that. they got to meet some of my ostrava lovelies. they got to stay in my flight. i got to talk to them about europe and books and all their silly habits that they make fun of each other for. i am very very appreciative that they took all the time and effort and money to come here. and they got me new boots and jeans bc mine are all getting holey :) k. now that holiday is blogged about.

let's talk about vienna

2009-01-16T12:13:00.005+01:00

hopefully this will be somewhat enjoyable to read.

plan:: vienna - december 23,24,25,26 | salzburg - december 27,28,29,30

reality:: vienna - december 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 and most of the 28

sleep 4 hours december 22.

december 23 - wake up at 6am to catch a 7am student agency bus that takes us to brno. carry our heavy shit around brno. find an over-priced cafe to park in for our 2 hour layover. maybe it was 3 hours. it was long. get on another bus. get to vienna. find new zealander and aussie chicks in our room. settle in. head out. walk into magic-ville. huge lights on streets. there are the adjectives i was looking for. imagine your christmas tree and house on crack. imagine a city that is chevy chase style. lights that are 2-3 times the size of you hanging between buildings, each street holding it's own magic and own style. walk by buildings created, oh, you know, 1,000 years ago. stumble upon christmas market after christmas market with people from all over europe drinking hot, sweet wine, eating sausages and pastries and candied nuts. everyone is smiling. homemade ornaments and gadgets and toys and puppets and art in miniature houses all in a row. christmas lights, christmas trees, christmas spirits, aaaah. i think i found my favorite building so far in vienna. the biggest christmas market was outside of it. we never could attain entrance into said building, but it was lovely and detailed and gothic with several towers and stained-glass windows, the color of a super vibrant rainbow. it made me want to lie down in front of it and fall captive to it's architecture. but my freezing body told me that wasn't so smart.

december 24 - hausdermusik. so much fun. mozart's lounge - we want to purchase this album. we created miniature symphonies, listened to the sounds of thailand, nyc, kids playing, the woods, water, etc etc. we read about the great composers and austria's role in the great musicians like beethoven, mozart, etc. we went to starbucks. don't judge. starbucks tastes like home and when being so far from home for quite a while now, starbucks was welcomed with wide-open arms daily while in vienna. delicious drip coffee s hasselnuss. hosteled. then went to christmas eve mass which was in english at yet another hideous central european cathedral - you know the ones that catch bad flack for being too big and impersonal and cost too much money - those ones that steal your breath and remind you that the history of christianity is jaded and beautiful - one that couldn't be contained or boxed in by cathedrals or catholics or protestants - ones that make you realize the awe and majesty of one we serve that is greater than us - we had christmas eve mass in one of those. and then hosteled again and made friends i think that night downstairs.

december 25 - lonely on christmas without friends and family you ask? if you don't consider the some of the greatest artists of all time friends and family - then maybe YOOOU would've been lonely. bean and i survived just fine with monet, klimt, grosz, van gogh, etc. so museum in the morning, starbucks to detox from the mass amount of beauty we had just taken in, then - the little piece of heaven sent from the angels - kunthausvien. i think i will do a whole other post on him. he's that good... hundertwasser that is. then we were famished. oh this is good. so bean and i don't eat when we travel - especially when grocery stores close for 3 days and we were unaware that they were going to close in the first place. so by about 7pm - i thought - hm - bean looks appetizing, maybe i'll eat her. you know - like looney tunes when bugs bunny turns into something so delicious and then gets hunted. that is how i felt about gina. so i ate her. we had a good relationship while it lasted... no no - everything was closed, of course, bc what crazy isn't with a family on christmas day? so at wit's end - we found an adorable little italian place where we received homemade pasta and salad. thank you, vienna. my one meal today was delish. then we decided to go completely crazy and splurge on an expensive english movie. FAIL. australie. if you liked it - well, good for you for finding entertainment in the lame, boring, crap that movies have become. ha. i don't judge you. we just couldn't sit through it after the beauty of everything else we had seen on christmas day. so we left mid-way through and went back to the hostel and maybe made friends again? i don't remember. maybe we just went to sleep, satisfied. christmas was a good day.

december 26 - boxing day over here across the atlantic - grocery stores still closed. museums = open. albertina and belvedere. the best part of the belvedere was the klimt exhibit. beautiful is an inadequate adjective. sparkling maybe? or graceful. idk. but we were way distracted bc we found out that getting to salzburg was going to be 50 euros and then another 50 to get to praha - 100 euros that we did not have. so beyond bummed that half of our trip was now going to fail - we decided to book another night in our hostel. we quite liked vienna and then we would be able to go out saturday and enjoy sunday in vienna before heading on up to prague sunday evening, 2 days earlier than intended arrival.

december 27 - save money and just walk around the city all day admiring more european buildings and structures that i'm sure you look at in pictures and go - building, pretty building, pretty building, but in person - they still have the allure of something that reeks of history and a culture that cared about aesthetics and took time to have a city that looked like something awesome. then - the nutcracker for 4 euros - yes please - i wish i had taken more pictures at the opera house. mmhmm. nutcracker in the vienna opera house. that night was just terrrrrrible :). when i was a kid, i remember the ballet boring me. when i was 23, i thought it was genius that your mood could be affected solely with costumes, a stage, dancers and a phenomenal orchestra. we were in the standing section (ie: the cheap section) and smiling for a good 2.5 hours. magical. i know - lame to keep using that word... but magical it was.

that night we met up w/ 3 friends from the hostel (that we had gone to the ballet with) to try to find good dancing. good - not so sure - shady, on the river, dark, really loud bass, dudes entranced by the lights overhead, hipsters everywhere, smoke everywhere - that is what we found. a european experience - sure. an experience we kept laughing through - of course. the nice part - we paid ourselves back at the end of the night. bc if you take empty glasses or bottles back to the bar - they give you money back. GENIUS. so we went around collecting other people's trash basically and made ourselves a few euros. more bars should do that. we got home at 4am. or 5am. i don't remember. we were supposed to wake up in time to go to the vienna boys choir and check out of the hostel before that -- no - we woke up at like 9 i guess. and laid around the hostel and used our little book to try and find some decent place to have coffee or eat - we failed at 3 attempts all over the city - so we went back to a place that we had the day before that was near the center and the opera house and enjoyed a superb meal. we walked down the streets - freezing our asses off - and said goodbye to the city sprinkled by magic fairy dust and christmas cheer from santa's sleigh. then our bus left at 6. and we got to prague at about midnight. it was a cold and long bus ride. so the next day we slept in and shat around the boys house, enjoyed catching up w/ ems from hungary and had dinner w/ the crew. then guitar-heroed our night away and off to bed. mom and dad arrived the next morning.......

this post is long and i'm sure i'm leaving out important things. but let's be honest - you don't really care that much :)

i love christmas. and bean

2009-01-16T10:19:00.004+01:00

bean and i decided to spend christmas in austria. we were to leave on tuesday, dec 23. so that gave us a whole weekend at home after school ended on the 19, without a million planned events, to breathe. and we did just that. and went around the city to take pics. and enjoyed our teeny tiny christmas market. that was the weekend of the fishnet office party too.

here's some pics. oooostrava

ps - the devils. st. mikolas day. if you are a bad kid - you will get coal and a potato and a devil will come take you away. if you are good - you get fruit and candy. so these are the devils at shopping park. creeped me out every time.

tak

2009-01-16T09:55:00.010+01:00

december... well that was a while ago now. a blur if you will.

let's see here. i bought the grinch - cartoon version and played it in 80% of my

classes so i watched it something like 10 times by the time christmas came. still laughed every time. still loved it every time.

we had a homemade christmas exchange at which i received this awesome owl pillow and i enhanced an apron for ash. i spent 7 hours on a sunday hand-sewing. that was preceded by the hour i spent making a cheesecake for which i had to chop up a chocolate bar to have chocolate chips.

yes friends, chocolate chips don't exist. and i also hung my laundry to dry. basically - i lived in 1930 for a day. it was cute. we had a christmas cookie baking party. czechs freaking spank americans in their decorations. i mean. by lightyears.

i ate about 25 different varieties of czech christmas cookies. all delicious. all tiny. like tiny. so that you're like - oh i should have another and another and another - since they are 1/3 the size of normal cookies - and 14 cookies later... y

ou're like wo- calm down there killer.

we had an office party at a restaurant. me and bean tried to dance after on stodolni. they played the ting tings. that one song was enough. then it was back to trash-attack of the 90s terrible rock bands like limp bizkit - so we left satisfied w/ a good dance to the ting tings. k. pics of that stuff. 84 more updating posts to follow.

Mr. Bob, Scruffy and owner

2008-12-18T11:12:00.002+01:00

Tesi Mr. Bob. On je muj kamarad. Bb je krasny a velky. On je stihly. Bob's pes kamarad je maly a neni skaredy. Jmenuje Scruffy. Scruffy je vesely pes a je szdravy. Jejich pan je vysoky a bohaty a vesely protoze ma rad por jeho pes.

mmhmm - i know all those words. i wrote a paragraph in cz. thank you thank you. mmhmm

it's late. i should sleep. i'm an adult now

2008-12-05T00:28:00.002+01:00

sleeping is for wussies.

it has been a great week. a great week. one of my bffs at home has a new boyf - that's fun. the weather was kickin on monday and tuesday - like almost 50 degrees. i got new music from britt. simple art is awesome and my monday class is now meeting at a pub, which let's be honest, is way better than a stuffy office or classroom. and flawlessly, faith came up this week. it was fun to no pressure share part of my beliefs and hear student's opinions on why czechs don't generally have faith. and it left a ton of room for further discussion. and left room for me to learn more about what they think about God and higher powers and atheism, etc. this is the interesting stuff to me - stuff i couldn't get in southeastern, conservative, of-course-i-believe-so-i-don't-go-to-hell-United States. (i am not disregarding at all the hundreds of amazing people that have genuine faith there that i know). and it was the start of actual discussions w/ students that aren't so textbook and are more about becoming friends. yes friends.

and it's christmas in ostrava and lights are up on all the lightposts - snowflakes and bells and trees. and i've heard about cz christmas traditions. and i got an email from a student tonight thanking me for talking w/ him. yeah, man - you got it - simple to do. i know english. most of the time, it's not so difficult for me...

and alas, the weekend is one (eeeeaaarly) class and one meeting away. then 2 weeks. then austria. aaaah. smiles smiles smiles.

...

2008-11-19T09:06:00.007+01:00

ok - now that the list is out of the way - let's talk about the fishnet thanksgiving retreat. each year fishnet takes students into the mountains to malonovice for the purpose of talking in english and teaching them about the american thanksgiving holiday.

the weekend begins with hat making - indian vs pilgrim

- if the pilgrims were smarter, they would've chosen to be indians -- bc we get to do rain dances and smoke peace pipes (granted - we were later shoved from our homes several times and were almost killed off.... but thanksgiving was a happy time for squanto and friends) any ways - make a hat - then all the silly get to know you games that are too funny for their own good. a decent meal. followed by a photo scavenger hunt - i was w/ very creative boys. up next is turkey bowling (or frozen chicken...) and american football. aaahh american football. for most american families - this is a huge holiday tradition. in my family growing up, i had to watch and keep score and the like while my brother, 8 cousins and several friends gathered in uncle dempsey and aunt jennifer's backyard for a football extravaganza. this time, not only was i playing... i was teaching. laura and i explained the game w/ a football that had a hole in it - so we had to keep airing it up - at 330pm - which is almost dark - as it started to sprinkle - so basically - perfect conditions for a rowdy, confusing game. we split into 2 teams and the czechs were super excited and desiring to get a tad too complicated w/ the plays - we helped them to simplify. they caught on pretty quickly - except for the two hand touch rule. they would two hand touch and stop and then keep running or pass the ball off to another team member (we explicitly told them they couldn't) or the defense would steal the ball, run for a touchdown, celebrate a touchdown until we had to gently yell that no one scored anything - 3rd down.

needless to say, it was a delightful experience. i loved it.

the other highlight of the weekend was by far the thanksgiving play where we give them scripts acting out the pilgrims leaving the netherworld, coming on the mayflower (drunk sailors on board included), landing in america (with pilgrims dying) and then celebrating w/ the indians and their peace pipe. it was amazing hearing them say things like "this

whip cream is so light and fluffy! how did you get it like this?" "oh, it's easy, i'll give you the recipe..."

all in all - it was a beautiful, fun-filled weekend on a mountain (the mountains always make me go "i LLIIIVE here. no way. i live in a magical land. bc it all looks like narnia")

pics to come soon on facebook - so check there. for now - here is one of the 2 amazing football teachers

no worries

2008-11-19T08:56:00.004+01:00

my very sad day / annoying couple of weeks of weird emotions ... were followed by busy amazing times. for the sake of lists...

1. i have found caramel biscuits - you know - the delightful ones that they serve w/ coffee? yes - i can buy them in bulk. mmmmm. that face says "they really are that good"

2. all my

lists about food make me sound like a fat kid. ha

3. i don't care

4. american football

5. two weekends in the mountains

6. IT SNOWED AND I SAW IT. it's been 10 years since i

saw snow fall

7. i can wear my sweet slippers again

8. i have had 2 retreats and am soon departing on my next one - tomorrow actually

9. i'm trying to like tea more than i do... slowly but surely :)

10. i went running when it was like 44 degrees - which made me very much feel like i live here and little by little i will conquer my feelings of the cold. it was so monumental - i documented the evening w/ a pic...

it happened

2008-11-06T21:42:00.002+01:00

i miss home. something about poland spawned an evil missing of fashion. which spurred on into a complete desire for things american. gross. i wasn't supposed to miss anything for a year. bc i don't know. something about missing home makes it seem like i failed - -- i know that is irrational and dumb... but that is what feels real in this moment. and it's not failure. it's not like i've really missed anything yet... and it's not like i will continue to miss it forever. but this week i miss my family - both of them - and buying clothes and it being warm and eating food where i understand what they say to me and cloves and concerts with strongbow and life as it was.

funny. emotions are funny. and annoying. more annoying than funny. so i miss you. all of you. and make it stop. a week of this is enough. can i go back to european bliss please?

poland = fall break

2008-11-01T19:30:00.007+01:00

poland = girls with flawless fashion.

cafes and pubs with good environments - the ambience, the products, the people, the photos.

town squares reeking of history and war havoc rebuilt.

fall with leaves the brightest yellow you've ever seen.

jewish quarters where it was hard to imagine them all being forced out, marching in lines, with clothes strewn on the street, babies being dragged behind them...

paulaner

chocolate for breakfast

cute hostels

walking and walking and walking

missing trains or trams bc they are on ghost tracks or you speak the wrong language

nightlife that you must hunt down. literally

maps that make sense

the best bookstore ever

2008-10-24T09:55:00.002+02:00

at approximately 1220am... "5:53am. then i can snooze at least once" lights out. slumber. dreams dreams dreams.

553am...alarm sound alarm sound alarm sound "no. boo. snooze" sleep sleep "snooze again. wait - snooze again means i miss my tram. when's the tram? 630. no 640. 640. it's 614. get up. 10 minutes to walk. get up. kvazar has good coffeeeeee. get up. this is stupid. it looks like midnight outside" get ready. walk walk walk "no, let's run now. i'm bored w/ walking. and i might miss my tram. that's no good." run run "i'm out of shape. i should walk. what are all these people doing up right now?" board tram "this hour of the day is stupid. look at all these people on a tram at 642am. that is stupid. oh well. good coffee is soon. as is POLAND"

those are pretty much my thoughts from this morning... in 2.5 hours - bean and i will head to POLAND! for fall break. 5 days of blissful travel and walks through the uber cold wroclaw and krakow. hostels, castles, new people, coffee shops. yay.

and another side note -- wednesdays forecast here - has clouds with rain AND SNOW. what?!?!?!

things around.

2008-10-15T09:03:00.001+02:00

update

2008-10-15T08:47:00.003+02:00

life in ostrava is maintaining its fast pace. you can always tell how full my calendar is by the appearance of my room. who has time to hang clothes when there are people to hang out with, lessons to plan, classes to teach and pubs to visit? let's be honest - who ever has time to hang up clothes when there is aaannything else to do?

last weekend, we cheered our little hearts out for the ostrava arrows baseball team. our cheering wasn't quite enough and draci defeated them in the final 2 games of the series giving them the title and the arrows a second place. saturday night, i had the weight of the world on me. you see -- i was the world. and bean was the moon. several americans and czechs gathered to celebrate the birth of our friend ash and adorned ourselves in ridiculous costumes - it was quite a treat. i'm glad that halloween is not going un-celebrated though we are far across the sea.

this coming weekend our friends from praha are coming and i am oh so excited.

classes are going well. i had one cancelled yesterday and another cancelled this morning. se la vi. bible study on monday nights is kickin and refreshing.

my biggest disappointment thus far has been that i have no youth classes. i really wanted to be able to teach high schoolers. re-visit it from the times i used to work w/ them and see how it felt to play a role of teacher to see if it was something i would want to do long-term in the future. but ta-daaa - i think i may just have something better. younglife is starting a new english club at a local gymnazium (which is high school here), so today at 2pm, i will help host/ coordinate that. some of the kids know about it and are super excited. and i'm excited bc i can play less teacher role and more just me role. we'll see how it goes. i'm feeling a little less than creative these days with ideas on how to make english fun at all times. but i'm way excited to meet more students and spend time with them.

i would really appreciate it if someone in the states would send me chick-fil-a, the restaurant. other than that, no complaints for today :)

...

2008-10-13T22:41:00.003+02:00

life is good. life is busy. right now my brain is tired at 1040pm. i am officially an adult. bc every night around the 10 o'clock hour i get so tired and feel like i should be invincible. i should ward off this feeling. i'm only 23. but alas. long, busy, intense thinking days produce tired. zzzzzzz

still allergic

2008-10-04T15:28:00.002+02:00

I really sometimes think that I may be slightly allergic to this place. Last night as I said dobrou noc to my dear roomie, I tried to shut the door. And couldn't. It kept getting stuck on the rug. Open, half close, open, half close, rug stuck, open, rug stuck. Whatever - and walk away. Gina begs from her bed for me to come back so she doesn't have to arise out of the comfy zone. So I come back and tell the door to knock it off (no pun intended) - let me freaking shut you. Ne. Nothing. (note - this has never been an issue before) So I decide that maybe in our pillow fight from earlier when people were over, the door got adjusted and I needed to slightly lift it - I PROCEED TO LIFT IT COMPLETELY OFF THE HINGES. I am then holding a door. What?! Who rips a door off?? So yeah - that was a little bit hilarious. Then the door felt a tad heavy to lift back onto the hinges. My Hulk strength had apparently disappeared. Which made it funnier.

Don't worry - I got it back up and on the hinges and shut it successfully a few minutes later. But these standard, normal, easy things... should not be as difficult for me as they have been.

what's new

2008-09-28T20:38:00.002+02:00

not too much. life is good. my main disappointment is that i don't have youth classes at all. but the adults are good and classes seem to get a little better each week.

and now a current list

- obsessively eat yogurt and granola

- and kokos

- can't stop listening to bon iver. apparently it's a theme for this month

- i'm excited to get paid in 2 weeks

- i like the first coat i bought

- the weather has been awesome this weekend (bean and i went on a walk saturday and stumbled on a teeter-totter - that was a highlight for sure) 50 degrees and higher is so much more enjoyable now that i experienced 40 and raining.

- i hung out w/ youth saturday at younglife. they are always refreshing. and i had 2 pretty stellar kickball catches - leaping over logs and almost dying and such. it felt nice

- we are going to try a new dance class this week. apparently mtv style - which should be interesting bc music choices here seem to suck. they are stuck 10-15 years behind us and enrique iglesias is alllllways in the background.

- jonah was an interesting character. glad i got to discuss him w/ bean today

- my room is finally in a decent feng shui -- for this week at least

- we have a washer that works. hallelujah

- praha has new art exhibits on the weekends - at least the 2 i have been there. amazing photos and such. i like that. art on the street free and available for all to enjoy - thank you, prague.

- ostrava is still feeling more like home everyday

- reign of fire is ridiculous

- the slide in our building is still fun

we shall see

2008-09-21T23:33:00.000+02:00

so we've been here a tad over a month. thinking that there are only 10 of these to experience - i find it hard to believe i'll be done with this place by that time. my original and current commitment is a year. no intention or direction past that.

there are things that make me want to be back home - weddings, nephews, relationships i've had for years, comfort of people knowing my language, more school, etc

there are things that make me want to be here - new relationships, new language, new coats and scarves, new dimensions of Jesus and disciplines i feel will take a very long time to implement, fun, more laughs than ever before, chocolate, traveling, etc etc

i just can't imagine that all 10 months would go by as fast as this first one and then i would think "yeah - that was enough".

people told me they were proud that i came. i'm proud of myself too. i actually did it. i moved overseas. i am living the dream where i go to prague on weekends to visit friends and it's normal to walk around town without a huge tourist agenda. i ride in trains. i get bus tickets and use only a foreign language to do so. i look fairly normal on trams and buses. i go to class and students like that i speak english and am confident teaching it...

but i've said several times - there is nothing else that makes sense - nothing. this is right now in my life. so there's not that much to be proud of. i'm just living.

i have nothing beyond me and nothing behind me. i have the present to embrace. but the future creeps closer each day and i don't know what to do w/ that thought/ concept... but currently - i feel like i will only establish and conquer a few things and it will take more than 1 year to feel satisfied with a european experience. we shall see

oh fail. fail fail fail

2008-09-16T10:16:00.001+02:00

i am sweating. i went to billa to get a few things - apples, yogurt, chicken, sour patch equivalent - i stand in the long line to pay - pull out my card to pay - she gets annoyed - says something in czech - points to an overtly SMALL czech sign that apparently says cash only. yikes. so then they have to call the manager over to undo my purchases bc i have no cash today. awwwwwwkward. many people staring w / ugly looks. so then i go to another line - yeah - um card declined? my temp card i think is out of date as of today - so i say what i think to mean "never mind, sorry" as she calls the same manager over to do the same thing she just did for me at another line - more people staring - this is not a big place, people. so then i walk out. i can't go in there for a while now i'm sure. oh my head hurts. that was painful.

i am americanka. i FAIL

blog schmog

2008-09-13T14:35:00.000+02:00

what to say, what to say...

started reading the pursuit of God earlier this week. The beginning of it basically addresses the fact that the modern day church has cheapened God. We have taken away bits and pieces of His character and shoved Him into the box of His Word and programs - things that are tangible - and have forgotten to explore where His personality is in humanity and creation - the 2 things that at the beginning of time sustained people. Since they were created by Him, for Him and in His image, they displayed Him better than anything else could.

Yet again I was reminded that while traveling, exploring, meeting, befriending, looking, walking, watching, etc, I am learning more about the God I have chosen to serve - that is exciting and precious. I'm excited to see how I and God develop further because of Europe and my travels around.

I had a fulltime week of teaching this week. 13 gymnazium classes, 4 business classes and 1 individual class at Fishnet. Lots of work, lots of time. It takes me a while to plan lessons and such and I pretty much just embrace the book currently. One day I'll be good at it and it won't own my life, but for now - I am learning and trying to be a good teacher, which means learning grammar and developing lessons, etc.

No big mess-ups this week, that was nice. Except the bugs that still try to claim our flat. They should leave, but they won't. Maybe since the lows this week will be in the 30s (farenheit), they will die. I hope they die. Oh - i did start a small fire in my trashcan today on accident. Oops. Be careful with matches, kids. Don't worry - no damage to myself, my flat, my roomie, etc.

We successfully operate our stove now. That's exciting.

I don't buy milkas everyday. That is exciting and lame all at once.

Our flat is clean after this morning.

We are getting to know new friends, Laura and Jonna, Ashley, Jesse. We finally met the illusive characters Luke, Luci and Nathan after much talk about them.

Last night was one of the best Ostrava nights thus far. Movie night with Young Life followed by many hours of dancing at Stoldoni with all of our new friends. Dancing is lovely and fun and produces such immense amounts of joy.

Tonight we go to a garden party at Adam's cottage w/ all the people we teach with. A scarf will definitely be necessary. It is cold outside!

And I would really really like to go to Krakow soooooon :)

apparently 2

2008-09-02T00:24:00.000+02:00

when i move to europe...

1. i compulsively eat bebe's - from the light blue box. and chocolate. i've tried probably 7 kinds of milkas by now. i like 2 a lot.

2. i ask my boss where the veyce is and leave him and 2 other czechs behind with gina while i go take care of business. i come back as the czechs are talking in their strange language where it all comes out as one word... gina tells me that i had asked where the egg was. to which i ask adam (boss) "what did i say?" he says "veyce" "well then what's toilet?" "vece" -- oh yes, of course - it's the same word. (not really - but it's like chip and ship or something retarded that a foreigner can't tell). i respond with massive giggles to the point of tears streaming down my face. there is nothing composed about me so my boss continues to play up the joke that i ran off looking for an egg instead of a bathroom in an asian czech restaurace and gina and i give up trying to look like the calm, composed americans and laugh.

3 . i teach grammar and make up rules. and then after i say the rule - i immediately realize how incorrect i was. thank goodness i was teaching fellow teachers and not students. bc just bc a word has a double-g does not mean that it always sounds like a "j" as in suggested - clearly johhing has a "g" sound - more giggles. (don't worry. i spent this whole morning teaching myself verb tenses. so fun)

4. i hike up the tallest mountain in the cz on my 2nd saturday here. and tumble down the mountain, break my shades, etc. quote "i'm gonna fall on my face. i can feel it" - gina

apparently - my mind said - "nah. i'll do that for her. oh oh oh." trip. overcompensate. barrel roll horizontally down a hill with jagged rocks. only a couple bruises. 25 kilometers straight up and down. i feel accomplished for such a big hike.

5. i kill birds that fly into our house. ok. it wasn't a bird - but it was a mosquito south american style. we screamed and i swear there were demon mosquitos all over me while killing it bc i immediately itched all over and inside of my pants. i killed that damn thing though. and screamed and giggled.

6. i am an actress while my boss tries out his "new idea". yeah. green screen and all.

7. i don't know how to speak english well anymore. totally hard language.

8. i eat beets. ew. not as bad as i thought they would be

9. i drink espresso drinks bc drip coffee isn't sold in cafes

10. i wash my sheet to sleep with at night. not a problem in the states. 1.5 hours later - wash and dried. cz - big problem. washing takes forever and then you have to take it out - riiiing it out and then hang dry it. direct quote "oh i am an idiot"

11. i love life

12. i want to be quadlingual

apparently

2008-08-31T23:25:00.000+02:00

i live in ostrava

2008-08-24T15:38:00.000+02:00

(we got to come before our visas did. some quirks to work out... but mostly - we're fine for now. thank Jesus)

woohoooo!! i'm trying to think of the most lovely things to disclose -- bc there is so much to disclose - there are so many good things to tell... but i will tire of writing them - so let me pick a few. our flat is PHENOM. walked in to a little dust - ok - a lot of dust and a lot of white walls and a closet full of things - sheets, mason jars, etc. which are now all over our walls and floors and the flat is LOVELY even on the cute side of things. we have amazing views from all of our amazing windows. one of the greatest things about our complex is the slide we have at the bottom. once you walk down like 16 flights of stairs and out the exit leading to the bus stop - there are slides. i guess in real adult world - they are wheelchair ramps or something - but in gina/ lydia world they are delightful slides that spawn spurts and bursts of giggles.

shamrock (premeck) has been the kindest person ever in showing us around and speaking in english and teaching us the ways of ostrava.

adam - our boss is a rockstar. truth. we went to a concert last night and enjoyed locals dancing, ostravar, and "funky, latina, ecstatic" music :) kulicky stesti. youtube it and love life and humanity bc of this . the title of his band means "little bolt of happiness" which might be the greatest band name i have eeeeever heard.

everything we hear is delightful. everyone says they come with the intention to stay one year and stay more - the brit we met today came for one and has stayed 10 and married hanka - a czech woman. we'll see what happens. i fully intend to spend a delightful year here and could see me back here or back in the states. i have not been so joyful in so freaking long. i laugh harder than ever. all the time. allll the time.

i pray often thanking jesus for this city and for my life and for the experience that is happening and will continue to experience this year. i mean really - who else HAS to go to prague for business meetings? bc i do . my dad has to go to like lakeland. i have to go to prague :)

the things i heard and knew about czech before i came included that they were sad and oppressed - obviously - and lacking faith and hope. so my prayer all along has been that we will bring a hope and joy like they have never experienced and i completely feel joy welled up inside of me like crazy. i pray that it doesn't go away the whole time i am here. i believe God is big enough to sustain that. who says we have to fail just bc everything is so new? failing isn't always necessary. so you can pray that me and gina continue to giggle our way through problems and mess-ups. and that we continue to feel peace and joy and contentment. that's all for now. this is too long

why isn't stuff weightless

2008-08-19T08:38:00.000+02:00

last night slovakia left. tonight, hungary departs. 4 hours from now. i'm supposed to depart with bean in 24 hours. not happening. there is a lack of dedication to completing visa processes at the czech consulate in LA and i therefore will be living in cali for a bit. slightly disappointed. feeling fine about it if it's only a week or two. past that - terrifying thoughts of lots of emotional, mental, physical preparation falling sliding down the drain due to being in a weird state of limbo.

however - still have an overwhelming sense of peace and security - being aware that this is just a small thread in a much bigger story and picture. individual lives are really not that big of a deal in the scheme of things - so there is no need for worry and discouragement when the world turns in a way i didn't expect or desire. the world will turn regardless... so i'm just going w/ the rotation currently

no cracks

2008-08-18T00:08:00.001+02:00

so me and gina like to play this game when walking (bc we walk everywhere here)... bc walking in itself can get a little old and boring - this game is called - don't step on the cracks... so basically, you just walk in a way so that you don't step on the sidewalk cracks. one step in each block, 2 steps, 3 steps, etc - each one is more intense in it's own way.

however - if you have to much energy... you will fail. which is what frank did. 2 step 2 step 2 step. fail. he burst onto the pavement - catapulted if you will - skidded - and jumped right back up. to which me and bean fell down with laughter. that was one of the high points of this weekend. (and in this post - i would like to shout out to twiggy, whom i love dearly)

3 weeks in and lovely

2008-08-04T04:15:00.000+02:00

in 2 days, i will have been gone for 3 weeks. at first i was a little worried about coming to cali early, wondering if i would regret it and want more time in orlando -- nope - being with my sister and aidan and ben and co. (bc he has 84 roomates) was uber refreshing and fun.

training started july 19 - on a saturday. our typical schedule is this... 730am - 930pm... breakfast, lunch and dinner, sessions on how to teach english, sessions on how to teach better in our region, sessions on how to cope with living overseas, sessions on language and culture, prep time to teach and then teaching each night to native non-english speakers. yes. very full days. very challenging. very long. very mentally focused. but very good.

i am more confident and content with my life than i have been in a long time. the people i'm going with are fun and full of big dreams and a mindset like mine. it's fun to be learning totally new things. it's fun to be challenged again. teaching is a blast and a good outlet to make language creative.

i have no complaints. the language is ridiculous and hard, but also - fun. i am laughing to the point of tears almost daily.

pray for mental stamina and excitement to continue

today i don't live in orlando

2008-07-16T17:06:00.000+02:00

said goodbye to lots of folks. missed out on saying goodbye to a few. filled w/ nausea and excitement and weirdness and contentment. but let's talk about getting me here yesterday... it was one of my more eventful flying days. i've discovered 2 things i really don't like to hear... wait - 3 things.

1. your plane is delayed due to inclement weather (underlying don't say it - so we'll board you 30 minutes late and then keep you on the runway for 45 minutes before you take off while you're in the middle seat, back row... then fly out an hour and a half late)

2. are you sure you're on this flight? (when you have 10 minutes to get on the flight bc you're last plane was so delayed that your hour and a half layover is now 20 minutes and you have to go into speed race mode to get to the other terminal) yes i'm sure... oooh - here you are

3. will you switch seats with me? it's my wife here. - where are you sitting? -- there - and my head shifts slowly to the left to see -DA-DA-DA a MIDDLE SEAT! nooooooooooo. so, i have a choice to be miserable for 6 hours or to be the bad guy - neither option looks good.

but i found a perfect window seat with no one in the middle so me and some guy lived it up with space.

us air was exciting to fly bc they have moooovies - but not if your earpiece on your chair doesn't work. so sleep and books - that's what you do.

and then my bag didn't make it. lame.

but i'm in san diego with my fidgety nephew currently. :) and all is well. training is in 4 days. and i'm ready to not be a floridian. life is good.

la TI daa

2008-07-03T18:30:00.000+02:00

i'm 23. i felt uber celebrated this year... thanks to those who came and surprised and planned and talked and drank and danced with me saturday. and thanks to all who bowled. and thanks for helping me ring in a new year.

i have no belongings left in orlando - they are all in piles in jax - and are kind of stressing me out. people are asking how i feel, etc... i feel emotionally ready. physical elements of packing and having the proper sized luggage and saying goodbye to people, etc - that's where i'm not so sure that i'm ready.

i'm much closer to raising support thanks to my sister. that was maybe the biggest relief and confirmation of the semester.

i bought my flight to cali - i leave in 12 days. no way is this real. i feel pretty calm. and i'm enjoying my family and my amazing nephew and laughing uncontrollably and praying my car sells for $5000 - HA- miracles can happen, right?

hm. still going

2008-06-24T06:21:00.000+02:00

todaaaay- i got shafted bc i'm moving to europe. that's a weird thing... for someone to get to know me less bc of my decision to leave america. funny thing - it didn't at all make me want to stay in america- it made me want to leave tomorrow rather than 3 weeks from tomorrow. se la vi.

i went to jax this weekend and it was full of laughs and memories and convos and the beach and eating and stories... and at the end of the day - i still felt closure. a sense of wanting to leave what is in my life now and explore what lies ahead - which is much more than my mind and comprehension knows.

i close doors i can and open ones i can, but i like that God still throws in curve balls, even 3 weeks before departure, that just wreck my little mind and cause me to remember that He is in control and He is writing my story and however lame i feel it is... it is.

soooooo all this (all this vague talk) leads me to a few points...

1. i don't like mandates and i will do all i can to switch them. if life circumstances end up a certain way - fine, but don't give me a mandate on how you think they should end up before trying them (foooor example. we are not allowed to "date" outside of our culture within the cz. totally fine. i probably wouldn't in the first place - however, my 23 year old reaction is "i do what i want. don't teellll meeee i can't date. i chooooose not to. you don't tell me not to date". and yes, i will follow the mandate bc of a contract, but my attitude toward it is sketch). same thing with choices those have made around me. i don't like them, don't necessarily agree (however right they may be), so i may... just may... spend 3 weeks trying to change them.

2. i'm a big fan of risk. which i learned today- most people are not. they sided with - well, not me. their side included - protection, safety, lack of emotional tie, etc... blah blah blah. you learn from the challenges and negativity and poor choices in life. i've learned a whole damn lot about life from the bad choices i've made and the hard ones. and while good choices and wise choices may be easier and i'm sure full of intelligence and lessons learned, however, they are certainly not as fun.

3. get me out of orlando

4. risk is worth it

5. respect and selfless love is something i still need to work on

6. sometimes i can't escape the rash thoughts of a girl

tomorrow the sun will shine. tonight. it's kind of dull

ask and ye shall receive?

2008-06-17T06:24:00.000+02:00

that's what i've heard at least... let's talk about this concept of "ask" for a minute. i don't like it. not one bit. i would rather be self-supportive and self-sufficient and independent and every word that describes what it takes to make it alone. bc i feel then, like i'm not burdening others or living off of what others make, earn, hear, are taught... and i feel a sense of accomplishment... and a sense of revelation - ie - if i learn on my own or do it on my own, i'm the only one to credit or to blame for praise or failure - either end of the spectrum. and i like to know i can think for myself.

however, Christ lived and taught differently. therefore, i'm trying to embrace the fact that i actually need $8000 more dollars after 100 "asking" letters have already gone out and am asking more and again and asking friends and family and strangers to help me go to do what God has called me to do. bc that's what the church is for, right? so if i say that i believe in the church that began in acts, then i'm saying that i believe in supporting the needs of my brothers and sisters and trust that they believe the same thing.

so just so i'm aware and you're aware and we're all aware here. thanks for letting me ask you to support me. thanks for supporting me. it's a big deal for me to ask. i don't like it.

a year and a half ago, i had to ask my parents for forgiveness. that conversation took me 2 months to work up the courage to have. last spring and summer i had to learn how to have conversations surrounding conflict and since "learning" basics of what conflict is and why it exists (which are thoughts for another conversation), i have had to had several confrontational chats ever since. and so now i feel this conversation of me asking for money from people is another point on the growing up triangle or hexagon or octagon that i am forming in my life and i am not taking it lightly that alot of issues i have with asking stem from pride and an overly independent nature.

so - you may have been asked personally or semi-personally or maybe through a friend. and please consider my ask with thought and prayer and diligence. it's for the greater good of humankind that i am going... bc not going would be going against myself, my faith, my passion, my friend.

people keep asking how i feel about leaving in a month.... i feel READY

not terrified

2008-05-20T08:18:00.000+02:00

the whirlwind has begun

may 15-17 see brother and kelly

may 17-21 meet aidan, see sister and vern

may 22 work my arse off

may 23-27 go to tennessee and the ham to see old friends and watch some get married

june finish work

july 1-9 fam vaca

july 14 peace out, o-town

yeah - weird huh. i am now balancing living very present, with not forgetting the things i've learned and built in the past with preparing my heart and mind for the future (and bank acct - which is empty. i shamelessly plug i still need $9000). so ta-daaa. here we go. i feel like it's time to say we're not in kansas anymore (a quote i can't rightfully use- i've never even watched wizard of oz). i couldn't be more ready to put my tender heart in a blender, watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion. rendezvous.

that's what these next 2 months are. moment after moment of rendezvous. god bless my friends and family. i'm soaking you up as best i can.

terrified

2008-05-12T07:23:00.000+02:00

geeenerally, if you talked to me about moving, the general discussion would display a general feeling of excitement, the facts about me going and me smiling ear to ear.
tonight i'm terrified. i have $1,000 of $10,000 raised, our country is in recession and people feel less inclined to spend money on everything, let alone support for me.
i have 2 months left here and am still wondering what the delicate balance is between living present here and preparing for the future.
i had a few people very important to me last week express kind of their "un-support" asking if me not having money was a sign from God i wasn't supposed to go.
which leads me to stress and terror in the sense that i haven't really felt in i don't know how long. i don't think anyone meant to lead my insides to a place of fear, but, alas, i am human.

this is where my life has led. my desires to travel, learn God, learn people, search out my dreams and passions more. and at status tonight, i had to remember that there have been lillies for thousands of years and i'll make it just fine.

however, i am still terrified. there is lots of work to finish, places to go, conversations to have, things to accomplish i guess.

so there's that... there's that. tomorrow i'm sure my emotions will be back to normal-ish. but i thought i'd share a little that this trip also is not just the most energizing, life-impacting, severe, exciting decision i've made... it's also very much real and very much scary.

It has begun

2008-03-30T07:42:00.001+02:00

A blog. So you can keep up with me. And I can keep up with me. My journey has started. Here's the plan... Go to the Czech. See where it takes me, end up cold, and learning, and excited, with more direction, better stories to tell, new friends, and some new scarves. Hating that I'm far from Chick-fil-a and loving I don't have to drive a car around. Being lost a lot. And frantically learning Czech as a result of my poor use of maps and frustration with not being able to read signs. And I expect to know Jesus better and much differently than I do. And Gina. And myself.

See. Exciting huh. And that's not even touching the surface...