we shall see

so we've been here a tad over a month. thinking that there are only 10 of these to experience - i find it hard to believe i'll be done with this place by that time. my original and current commitment is a year. no intention or direction past that. 

there are things that make me want to be back home - weddings, nephews, relationships i've had for years, comfort of people knowing my language, more school, etc

there are things that make me want to be here - new relationships, new language, new coats and scarves, new dimensions of Jesus and disciplines i feel will take a very long time to implement, fun, more laughs than ever before, chocolate, traveling, etc etc

i just can't imagine that all 10 months would go by as fast as this first one and then i would think "yeah - that was enough". 

people told me they were proud that i came. i'm proud of myself too. i actually did it. i moved overseas. i am living the dream where i go to prague on weekends to visit friends and it's normal to walk around town without a huge tourist agenda. i ride in trains. i get bus tickets and use only a foreign language to do so. i look fairly normal on trams and buses. i go to class and students like that i speak english and am confident teaching it... 

but i've said several times - there is nothing else that makes sense - nothing. this is right now in my life. so there's not that much to be proud of. i'm just living.

i have nothing beyond me and nothing behind me. i have the present to embrace. but the future creeps closer each day and i don't know what to do w/ that thought/ concept... but currently - i feel like i will only establish and conquer a few things and it will take more than 1 year to feel satisfied with a european experience. we shall see